Twilight condensed

http://lucylou.livejournal.com/566295.html

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

This made me laugh - hope it does the same for you!

Paranormal Activity

My husband works in a shady part of town and working in a shady part of town enables you to come by "bootleg" movies.  So we watched Paranormal Activity at home this past weekend and I wasn't very impressed.  I think this is the same thing that happened to me when I tried to watch the Blair Witch Project at home and thought to myself "I was really scared by this??"

The effect of watching a move in the theater is the entire culmination of many elements - the entire theater gets dark when the movie does, you feed off of the crowd's emotions and you're not pulled away from the movie by text messages or a barking dog.  It forces you to get involved in the movie in a way you would never be able to from your couch.  So this is what I think we really missed out on...the visceral experience. 

Needless to say I wasn't freaked out by this movie and found the commercials were pretty misleading as to how scared people were.  Ok so the movie was shot in a "home documentary" style, but the door moved in the middle of the night, I just don't believe movies anymore.  If this was something on the Discovery Channel I wouldn't believe it either.  Sorry to say I didn't even jump once.  The movie did end abruptly and a lot like Blair Witch by not resolving anything so I guess that's the freaky part? 

My suggestion, don't waste your money, wait for the rental.

Away We Go

The description of this movie pulled right from IMDB is:
A couple who is expecting their first child travel around the U.S. in order to find a perfect place to start their family. Along the way, they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of relatives and old friends who just might help them discover "home" on their own terms for the first time.

I really enjoyed this movie.  It was refreshlingly honest and for once in the longest time it was a movie that A. Wasn't shot in NJ or NY B. showed people who weren't really rich C. showed in my idea "real life" - case in point Verona gets fat as pregnant women should.  Amen.

Yes, some of the characters such as Burt's (played by John Krasinski) "cousin" LN (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) might have been a bit far-fetched, but who am I to say?  There might be people out there who don't want strollers and let all their kids sleep in the bed with them.  But they visit friends and family in different areas, including Canada to find the right home for their baby on the way. 

I laughed a lot too, one point I remember really well is poor Verona is only 6 months pregnant and the people at the airport don't believe her because she's so big and they refuse to let her fly and they have to take the train instead.  But at the end of the movie I sat back and felt satisfied to the point that I felt I had a hand in making the movie as I do when I force my husband to watch something i know he would NEVER on his own.  It was as he calls it "one of your 'plot' movies" that focused on character-building and not blowing up buildings.  AHHHHH, nice and comforting.  So my recommendation - add it to your queue and you won't be disappointed!

Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

I read about Pete Yorn doing an album with Scarlett in Rolling Stone and thought "great another actress who thinks she can sing" and I was immediately disappointed by Pete Yorn, who I hold in high regard for getting sucked into this duet. But I downloaded some of the tracks off their album and I am amazed. They're not bad. She's not that bad either! I think they may be using some sort of voice filter on her to make her sound "smokey" but the end-result isn't shabby at all!
My favorite track so far is Relator which is really catchy and Scarlett sounds amazing.

Check it out!

The album is called Break Up, and it's on sale in Starbucks which is probably why I dismissed it off the bat. 

Changing my last name

When you get married and if you're like me you want to change your last name.  I started with the typical places - DMV, credit cards, the bank and Social Security. I've called all the credit card companies, sent a fax to the mortgage company, waited on a pretty short line at the DMV but nothing has prepared me for the other 1,000 places I have my name and email address on file.  Every website I login to requires either my email address or username.  And like most people I used my first initial and last name for my username or my email address.  I decided recently to change my gmail address from my firstname, old last name to my now firstnamemarriedlastname.  So just today my issue was transferring the ownership of this blog to my new email address and somehow I hope that my old gmail keeps forwarding to my new email address.  All this new-age name changing business really sucks when you think about how many places your maiden name really is.  SIGH.

Dunkin Donuts coffee - secret "coupon"

I love Dunkin' Donuts coffee more than any other coffee in the states. On my recent trip to Mykonos, Greece I did fall in love with Greek coffee, but once I left the island the "main-land" version of Greek coffee fell way short of what I was accustomed to and I chalked it up to the hotel, the water, and well the love-of-the-Greek that kepy that great tasting coffee safe in the hands of the staff of the Mykonos Grand. But I digress...
Dunkin' Donuts coffee is so great that we buy it in pound bags and brew it at home. Once you've had it you will never be able to artfully master drinking Maxwell House without a look of total disdain. But here is my secret, in the stores they sell 1 pound of coffee for $10. And while it may go on sale for $8.99 or so a pound, NOTHING will beat the deal in the store.
I have heard that not every store "participates" in this deal but the few stores by me have a deal where you buy 1 get another for $12.99 total. So that equals 2 pounds of coffee for $12.99. I have been to stores (but not too recently) that told me they don't participate in this deal and I have promptly walked out. So if you are on the quest for the liquid crack I called Dunkin D Bags coffee - the surprising twist is that it is cheaper at the actual store, now who would've thought?!
Keep this in mind next time you take the turn down that aisle in the grocery store that smells like the Columbians have peed brown liquid coffee gold all over the floor and haul your cookies to the closest Dunkin' Donuts.

Note: I did check their store online because someone left a comment that they don't have a DD store by them and unfortunately they don't give you the discount online but it's still cheaper than buying it in a store.  

Wedding and thank-yous

I recently got married and one of the final things to do was hanging over my head, writing thank you notes. I sat on the couch last week with the pile of cards and started the painful task of writing them. How can you say "thank you for the money" without really saying so?
Since a lot of my family is from New Jersey many (or almost all) got the "thank you for making the trip to be with us on our special day" note and "thank you for your generous gift".

I'm not sure if telling people that their gift went to good use on our honeymoon would make them happy or not but being the truth, I included it in many cards. We did use their money on our honeymoon for shopping, drinks and dinner - so thank you because while planning the wedding, paying our mortgage and other bills we somehow managed not to save a dime for the honeymoon and were praying that our families would be generous to give us money. Thank you family.

But one thing I did notice is that an overwhelming amount of people who came to our wedding, did so empty-handed. Now I don't want to sound anything less than grateful that they did come to the wedding but seriously, do they think that we wouldn't notice they didn't even bother to give us a card. I understand times are tough but really, even the lack of bringing a card in my mind is inexcusable. I guess just like RSVPing you can't teach people manners, we did have a total of 6 people who said they were coming to the reception and didn't bother to show. 1 couple did at least give us a pretty valid excuse at the ceremony but the other 2 couples no good excuse, or even a lame one. SIGH.

All I have to say is after planning a wedding for 140 people I truly understand why people hire wedding planners and why many people elope. It is hard work and something that people who haven't been through it before have any clue about. I had an amazing time and am very proud of myself for getting 50-something thank you cards out in the mail about a month after the wedding. But then again, I am a pretty responsible person and don't put things off...

I am full of blogging fever!

Maybe the Julie & Julia book has renewed my blogging or the fact that it's another crappy weekend day and I am forced to be inside and can't stand the thought of wasting away in front of the TV again, or maybe it's because I have so much to say that I am blogging so much today.
So far my day has been - reading a bit more of Julie & Julia, making a crock-pot Hungarian goulash which is filling the house with the most delectable smells, filling in more of my wedding scrapbook that my sister, Amy gave to me and finishing up the Thank You cards for wedding gifts.

If you've never had Hungarian Goulash you are missing out. The recipe varies from cookbook to cookbook but the overall premise is the same. I was at the ghetto Safeway yesterday (read: Jason's sister works there and swears they have a rat problem) and I saw a big ol' package of beef stew beef on sale for $9 for 2.8 pounds of meat. At the time I had no idea what I would do with it but I figured I would make beef stew with red-skinned potatoes in the crock pot. But today when I got out my Fix-It and Forget It 5-Ingredient Favorites crock pot cookbook I saw that I had written in the cover the recipe I had found for goulash.

After a call to my parents for some consulting - "Can I add potatoes; and the recipe calls for 2 pounds of beef but I have 2.8, should I add it all in now or saw off half this hunk of meat and freeze it?" And started cooking it. It's a very easy process, you cut the meat into pieces, in this instance I added potatoes, so I cut them into small pieces and cut a whole yellow onion and added 3 cloves of garlic of varying sizes. Then I mixed together ketchup, worceshire sauce, dry mustard, paprika (a must have along with garlic for almost all of my cooking and all Hungarian cooking), salt and brown sugar. I added this all to the crock pot, mixed it together and set it to cook for 9 hours. Being that I started this process at 1 PM my dinner won't be ready until 10 or 11 PM so my plan is to make Chicken Marsala for dinner and have the goulash for tomorrow's night dinner. I have to cook this chicken, it's been defrosting in the fridge for days now and will go bad if I don't do anything with it and I noticed the mushrooms I bought the other day have a small hole in the plastic covering the container which means they will go bad soon, too.

The Wii Fit

About a year ago when the Wii Fit first came out I gave into all the hype and bought the balance board and actually played with it for awhile. I have to say that I HATE WORKING OUT. I'm not one of those people that once I get to the gym who actually enjoys being there, I hate it.
I started working out last January and did so on a pretty steady routine for about 5 months, and I didn't lose 1 freaking pound. Everyone around me told me it was because I was turning fat into muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat. Bullshit. Not bullshit that it doesn't weigh more, but bullshit that I don't care. I wanted to lose weight and I wasn't. It sucked.
So about 2 months before my wedding I completely lost all motivation and stopped working out entirely.
Back to the Wii Fit, it was fun for awhile trying all the yoga poses, but the mastery of the poses was your ability to hold your balance, which is not the purpose of yoga. I got bored with the same old routines that lasted for about 2 minutes and the fact that you can't program a continious workout session, you have to keep picking up the remote and choosing your next workout pose. So needless to say, it lost my attention.
Recently I bought the Wii Fit EA Sports Active Trainer. It comes with "resistance bands" (read: a long rubber-band with 2 tie on straps) and a leg thingy. But it promises to be an actual workout routine complete with trainer and on-going workouts. I haven't tried it yet as it's been nice out after work and I've been walking with my dogs after work for about 1 mile a day.
But today was the beginning of Daylight Savings Time so that means unless I get out of work at 4:30 I won't be able to walk the dogs in the daylight. And the people that drive down my street barely avoid me when it's light out, and there aren't any sidewalks on my road, some of the routes that I chose around the neighborhood so have sidewalks, but not all. So I really don't feel safe walking after dark, and well it makes me lose all motivation to do so. When I leave work and it's already dark out all I want to do is go home, put on my PJs and watch TV.
So I'm hoping this new workout game will give all it promises and make me start to workout again. We'll see.

Julie & Julia

I am almost done with reading this book, I am hooked. It is hard to put down, even though I know the entire story from seeing the movie I still enjoy the writing.
I will say that the book is making me really want to cook. I went to bed last night thinking about the thawed-out chicken in my fridge but also the beef stew beef that I bought yesterday at the store and how I want to make beef stew. The fact that the chicken has been sitting undefrosted in the fridge for going on 3 days is what's setting me off, I need to cook it - today.
I've also been thinking about making truffles from the Sarah McLachlan cookbook, Plenty. They are actually really easy to make, it's just chocolate and milk. But I am a newlywed and still trying to lose that honeymoon weight, so truffles probably aren't the best way of achieving this.
SIGH.

Movies

Being a netflix addict I do watch a ridiculous amount of movies. We are on the 3 at a time unlimited account setting, which some people would say is just too much. But being as it is - there are still times that we don't have any movies in the house or anything that we really want to watch. Case in point - The Exorcist, the original. This movie sat on our entertainment center for days before we actually were "in the mood" to watch it.
I've never seen it before so I had no idea what to expect, Jason had seen it but it was years ago. I knew that it was set in Georgetown and was pretty creepy but that's the end of my expectations. We started it on a Friday night and in my house, Friday nights are pretty lame. We are both so exhausted from the workweek that we rarely stay up later than 11 PM. And this night wasn't very different. We started the movie late and I ended up falling asleep half-way through.
We finished it Saturday night and I was grossed out more than scared. And I didn't remember the set of stairs that Jason swore we stopped at near the gas station on our way home from Georgetown a few weeks ago...it obviously didn't mean that much to me. And if you haven't seen the movie yet you won't really know the meaning behind the large set of stairs, and the role they play in the movie.
So all in all, I think I missed the window of scariness for The Exorcist, I shoudl've watched it a long time ago when I was a small child for it to be really freaky. But my parents were good about not letting me watch inappropriate movies and I'm pretty sure The Exorcist would've made that list.

What I'm Reading

A friend at work loaned me Julie & Julia the story of an ordinary girl living in NYC who starts cooking her way through the Julia Child cookbook - Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

I saw the movie a few weeks ago and knew that the book would be better than the movie. Not that the movie was bad, I enjoy Amy Adams as an actress and Meryl Streep was Julia Child and she played the role to perfection. But the book is always better than the movie.

I just started a few nights ago and am hooked already!

One of the things I like about seeing a movie before reading the book, if the movie is played well is being able to picture the actors in the role of the character in the book and with Amy Adams she makes Julie even more lovable.

This week in Northern VA

Or it might have been last week - but this is true

This guy cheated on his girlfriend and I guess her punishment was to make him stand in the middle of an intersection during morning rush hour wearing this sign:

I feel really bad for these dogs

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32581670/from/ET/?beginSlide=1

I have to share this with the world

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

I am laughing maniacally at my desk.

Good reading

A nice email forward from Kristen today:

Random Thoughts of the Day:
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Stupid surfers

This is a total failure of communications between surfer-speak and real English.

http://failblog.org/2009/08/06/surfer-interview-fail/

OMG

This is a theme-wedding if I've ever seen one. The person that sent this to me said it's some comic book theme

http://www.ksweddings.com/aidra_ernest/

Too funny!

http://dontjudgemyhair.com/

Funny ass picture

Need another reason to quit smoking?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07152009/news/nationalnews/us_man_charged_23_quadrillion_dollars_fo_179411.htm

Our members are pretty damn funny

So we have a social billboard type area on our website that our members use for all sorts of reasons, networking, questions and answers, job postings, etc. But sometimes they really make me laugh - recently someone asked about how to handle a particularly gassy employee and one member who makes us all laugh posted the following memo:

M E M O
To: All Employees
From: HR
Re: Flatulence
It has been brought to the attention of HR that some employees are emiting flatulence while working in their cubicles so HR has written a Flatulence Policy which is effective immediately.

Flatulence Policy
While we understand that flatulence is a natural occurring bodily function, you are not allowed to fart while in your cubicle. If you are feeling a bit bloated and gassy then please go to the restroom to flatulate.If you do flatulate in the restroom, please spray Fabreze generously to cover the odor. If, by flatulating in the restroom, you accidentially squirt something other than intestinal air, do not, under any circumstances, discard your soiled panties in the restroom wastebasket (see Panty Policy).
If you do not experience the warning signs pre-flatulence and actually do fart while in your cube, please excuse yourself quickly and get the can of Fabreze in the restroom and spray your cubicle generously. If that doesn't mask the odor sufficiently, then you will need to go to HR and get a Glade Scented Candle and burn it in your cubicle for the remainder of the day.It is against this policy to retaliate against anyone burning a Glade candle in their cube, as we all know that smell is so much better than the alternative.
Fragrance Scentivity Warning Signs should be posted outside of any cubicle to warn those who are sesative to strong scents so they can avoid the area.Employees are encouraged, especially those who experience flatulence on a regular basis, to practice good pre-flatulence preventative measures such as eating foods high in fiber, avoiding Taco Bell and taking Beano when appropriate. HR will also have those little strips your can put on your tongue to get rid of gas as well as a supply of Gas X. Employees who are feeling particularly gassy should come quickly to HR so all gas prevention measures can be pursued.All flatulence not emitted in accordance with this policy should be immediately reported to HR on the Unauthorized Flatulence Report Form so HR can investigate immediately.

My name is potato

This made my day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZJXWkWeS2k

I am in job depression

I know that I should be thankful for even HAVING a job but being a college-educated female who didn't get into finance I just don't feel THAT thankful.

So since it's my blog I feel the right to bitch. After paying bills I had only $200 left of my paycheck...how in the world am I to get ahead with that kind of paycheck? Yes my paycheck is a bit smaller after the $60 for my MacBook that they take out the payments for until the end of the year, and my flex spending - which BTW I am almost out of for the rest of the year, and a 401(k) loan that I had to take out for my overwhelming medical bills from my gallbladder surgery last year. So that's about another $100 + that should be in my check...but seriously as I am getting married the concept of having children is just more and more becoming something that is more of a reality than just a "concept". How are we to afford this?

So that has been my pit of despair this week so far. I was out for 2 days not feeling too well but I must admit I really enjoyed being home. So much I was even entertaining the idea of becoming a full-time nanny. What other job lets you stay home all day and play with kids? Too bad I don't have any of my own and would probably spend half the day on the phone with my mother asking everything from "Does it matter if the puke is green or blue", "how do you get Jell-O out of the carpet?" or "Why can't I nap when they won't?"

But after speaking to my sister, Amy she told me of the perils of children moving, them finding a new nanny, etc. that put me out of thinking it would be the best idea that I should quit my perfectly stable job for.

And then Nicole sent me the following diagram that made me laugh:

And it's not that I HATE my job I really feel that I am worth more - a lot more. And if I was making more money it might be easier to put up with the half-assed people that I work with (very few, but Potato stands out) and get paid more than me and work half-assed, dress like they've never heard of bras and still have a job...so why am I busting my ass??

Dilemma...

Funniest Home Page

I found this a few weeks ago on the Dominion Home Page and kept forgetting to post it


How creepy is this picture??!!

Doesn't it looks like he's going to kill her with the hairdryer? And why would you want some strange MAN to help you blow dry your hair?

Hydrangea

So my quest for a long time now has been to find a Hydrangea bush. Not only are they a flowering bush but they're just so pretty. I also found on the back of one of his books this great picture with Kurt Vonnegut outside his house sitting by the back door, surrounded by these giant Hydrangea bushes. I usually buy my plants at Lowe's or Home Depot (mostly Lowe's because I despise Home Depot and the morons that work there) but am always turned off on how much they cost. They are really expensive bushes!

When I was in New Jersey the other weekend visiting my parents we went to Lowe's - their Saturday morning ritual, if you're looking for my parents early Saturday - million to 1 they're at Lowe's scanning the sale rack. We ended up in the garden section, big surprise and I found a Hydrangea bush on sale for about $8. Yes, it was tiny but not miniscule so I bought it hoping to bring it to life, and so far so good.

But last weekend we were on our way back from meeting Father Baker at St. Aidan's and we were going to go to Lowe's and on the way there we went past Hybla Valley Nursery. Jason found this nursery when he was helping some friends move the other weekend and stopped in to get me a pretty flower. So he suggested that we stop and I found a HUGE Hydrangea for only $25. I had to have it. The price was too good to pass up. I did buy a few other things, which I can't remember for the life of me now - oh a clematis and some type of big leafy thing.

In case you have NO idea what a Hydrangea is here is one:

And a Clematis is:

It is a trailing bush that I am hoping will grow all over our lovely metal fence on one neighbor's side - mostly to cover the dead tree that is such an eyesore.

Teaser Poster for True Blood Season 2

Look closely! At first glance you may just see the blood but if you focus in on the dark sections, you’ll see the silhouette of a vampire about to feed from some poor lady’s neck. This concept is based off the famous Rubin’s Face, a famous optical illusion that allows for two completely separate interpretations of the same image.

Summer TV

So now that all my "good" shows have come to an end - some leaving us hanging; Lost as usual, damn those bastards for always leaving me this way...The Office left us with Pam & Jim finding out they are pregnant, and 30 Rock just ended, it isn't the way of the comedy show to leave us hanging it just ends.





So now begins the summer Cable shows! Starting up July 12 with Season 6- Entourage with Vinnie working on a Martin Scorcese film. Even though my DVR recorded this past Sunday as a new episode which it wasn't. I can't get any information off their site about the first episode of Season 6. I'm sure somewhere on the internet is some sort of spoiler but I'm really not that dedicated. Last season I kept watching b/c there isn't much else to do at 10 PM on a Sunday but I didn't really want to watch poor Vinnie, I like when he spends his millions on Mazerati's and parties...duh, that's why we're all celebrity-obsessed.





Deadliest Catch has been on for a few weeks and Discovery doesn't really count as Cable with a


Capital C to me since I don't PAY for the channel itself.





Weeds will be starting Season 5 with their debut episode Wonderful Wonderful. Last season ended with Nancy about to be killed by Esteban (the really hot Governor or Mayor of Mexico) until she produces an ultrasound and tells him it's a boy. Damn she's good.





Here's the description from Showtime:





In episode 501, the fifth season premiere, Nancy returns to Ren Mar unsure of her fate after showing Esteban a sonogram of her baby; Haley has a hard time collecting ransom money for Celia; Andy, Doug and Silas discuss a new pot-growing plan.





And my new favorite show from last summer True Blood!!


There's even a countdown on the homepage


http://www.hbo.com/trueblood/

I had to put a picture so this is from last season since this season starts June 14.

Solved! How a family of eight can travel from A to B... on just TWO wheels

Full story can be found at:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1174908/Solved-How-family-travel-A-B--just-TWO-wheels.html

Too funny!

Funniest license plate of the trip FISHKLR.

My garden continues...

Here are the promised pictures of the garden from my previous post...



















The garden - 1 view





















My little baby Corn



















Lettuce - I think Mesculine lettuce



















The tomato that I bought from Edison High school

Corn is growing!

So I made 4 rows of corn - 2 of them I planted a few weeks ago and we had that lovely bout of cold weather, so cold I think it killed half the seeds I planted including the corn.
But Jason and I planted another 2 rows just 3 weeks ago and already there are very noticable corn seedlings popping through. Thinking of it now I should have taken a picture but I will do that soon.
My tomatoes are doing well - I bought 4 seedlings from Home Depot and 1 pretty large one from the Edison High School plant sale. The bigger one is hopefully going to be producing tomatoes soon and it looks like some of my lettuce is sprouting. The confusing thing about gardening with new seeds is not knowing what is a seed and what is a weed. I have found quite a few weeds and managed to wack them out with a shovel.
I've also started a compost bucket and am burying it weekly. Jason brought home a bucket with a lid that serves 2 purposes-keeping the dogs out of the "treats" in the bucket and keeping the smell in.
I am traveling this weekend but may be able to take some pictures before the weekend...it's so much fun to go out to the garden 1 day and a few days later see all new developments.

Best passive aggressive blog...ever

This is just one of the funny things that people see - photograph and send in...

Here's the blog....
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Starbucks cares?

Now if you know anything about me at all you know I am a DIE HARD Dunkin Donuts fan. It is hard for me to go to Starbucks and give them my money. Now at work Starbucks is only 2 blocks away whereas DD is about 8 blocks so if I am feeling extra tired and lazy (usually they go hand in hand) I will force myself to walk to Starbucks and get some overpriced "coffee drink". But the other day one of my print rep friends called and offered to buy me some Starbucks and I can't say no to free overpriced drinks...but moving on to my story...
I noticed that they had a big pail of shiny bags and it turns out that they are recycling their coffee grounds and GIVING THEM AWAY FOR FREE. So I stocked up on 3 huge bags. Now you might be asking what I used the coffee grounds for and they are fantastic for gardens. So I hauled them to my car and you might not think that coffee grounds are that heavy but 3 HUGE ASS bags of them are really heavy! Thankfully Jared (my print rep friend) carried his 3 bags and my 3 bags to the door of my buidling. They were even nice enough to give us big shopping bags. So all in all my last trip to Starbucks wasn't too bad - free coffee and some free fertilizer.
Oh I have to add I didn't get a coffee I got a mocha something with soy milk...I can't really stand their coffee and can't do that to DD. It just wouldn't be right.

My garden

My carrots

Tomatoes

I'm not sure what this is just quite yet...

And my Raspberry bush - there are 3 of them so I hope they all make it and bear fruit!

flowers

Blogger is possessed - it's not posting my pictures of my flowers so here is my fifth attempt.

My flowers

I am obsessed with all my flowers - they're really the only photos I post on Facebook. Since I am so proud of my Orchids and other flowers I am going to share them here too.
The Irises are from my mom - I think they are from the Virginia house and I'm so happy that they're blooming and healthy. I just took the pictures of them so they're covered in rain drops. I think they all look so pretty.

What the What??!!

WEBSTER, Mass. – Officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs pointing to a central Massachusetts lake with a 45-letter name. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years. Some locals have given up and simply call it Lake Webster.
But after researching historical spelling combinations, the Telegram & Gazette of Worcester said local Chamber of Commerce officials agreed that some signs were wrong. There was an "o" at letter 20 where a "u" should have been, and an "h" at letter 38 where an "n" should go.
There are many stories and legends about the origin of the Indian name. One popular myth — later debunked — holds that the name translates roughly to 'You fish on your side, I fish on my side, and nobody fish in the middle.'

The Garden

So I haven't seen any sprouts in the garden just quite yet but I have started "planting" my compost. In case you're just not that into green compost is all that good stuff from your kitchen trash that you ususally put through the disposal back into the earth - such as cucumber ends, salad pieces, shrimp tails (I might be the only one that composts those), egg shells - basically anything that you don't think needs to end up in a landfill.
But I did take some pictures of the little sprouts in other places and will post those soon.
More to come!

Best license plate ever

First night of the Catch!

And I am hooked anew! The first episode wasn't as action-packed as I had hoped but it was still full of drama - thanks captain Keith who started thinking he had cancer, then had something on the underside of his boat cutting his crab pot strings, so he dons a diving suit and goes under his boat to investigate to only promptly hit his head so hard it made him bleed. This was all from one captain, my personal Drama Queen of the Wizard.
The Time Bandit, which we decided tonight to name our little John Boat had a great beginning of their season from the first couple of crab pots which were filled with almost 100 Alaskan King Crab keepers.
The bad news of the season so far is that Captain Phil of the Cornelia Marie hasn't fully recovered from his blood clot and he was told to not go fishing this season so he left his 2nd Mate in charge, Manny who wasn't very prepared for being captain.
The only boat on the show we didn't see much of was Captain Sig and the Northwestern. We did see them perform their yearly ritual of biting the head of a Herring Fish - ewwwwww
The captain pulled the short straw and was stuck biting the fish head off. Good luck, guys.

One of my favorite things

A few weeks ago we registered for wedding gifts at Williams-Sonoma and while we were there we had to shop. If you haven't been in this glorious cooking store from heaven you are really missing out. I just told my dad about this store this past weekend citing the fact that they cook the food they sell with the cookware they are also selling. This I think - is a great selling point for my father.
But I digress...I bought the most wonderful countertop spray Sweet Orange but it doesn't smell like oranges to me. Maybe since it's colored green it throws my nose off on purpose? My brain might be sending a stronger signal but I really can't pinpoint the exact scent of this spray but I highly recommend it. I first fell in love with Crate & Barre's Pear Basil counter spray but they discontinued it and instead kept some mango-scented spray instead, boo.
Definitely some parts of planning our wedding have been more fun than others and registering at Williams-Sonoma was one that took the cake. Mmmmmm....cake.

Deadliest Catch

Starting tonight Deadliest Catch on Discovery!!

Jason and I got really into this show 2 seasons ago and were eagerly anticipating the arrival of the new season and tonight our wish comes true!

The only bad news is it's on at the same time as American Idol and 90210 and we tape both of them. Anyone with a DVR knows you can only have 2 shows going at 1 time. You can tape 2 but have to watch 1 or none, or tape 1 and watch the other. All this damn technology and I can only tape 1 show at a time basically while watching TV??

But I have opted to watch 90210 on my laptop while I workout at home so I guess it's not that bad. And you better believe we'll be watching the Catch live instead of Idol, that show has so many damn commercials it's not real.

So more to come about the season of the Manliest Men on TV who catch the Tastiest of Tasty Foods-King Crabs!!!

The boats on Season 5 are:
Our favorite - Time Bandit!
Northwestern
Cornelia Marie
The Wizard - Captain Keith is such a tool bag and the biggest whiner. Seriously last season he freaked out and wouldn't leave port because he didn't have a stupid ass Cup of Noodles cup to spit his dip spit into. Toolbag.
The Lisa Marie -I guess this is a new boat but not the sister of the Cornelia Marie just similar names...
Trailblazer - I haven't heard of this boat either like the Lisa Marie so meeting the new crews will be interesting.

Springtime!!

So instead of working through my lunchhour I decided to finally blog a bit-hooray!
A few weeks ago I started gardening finally after the LONGEST winter!
So I started with the seeds that I have from germinating my own plants last fall. Basically the plants that reseed themselves are easy to spot - their dried up husks have seeds inside them.
So I took my zinnia's some petunia's and margiolds and dried the seeds in paper bags over the winter.
We had our friends from Cutting Edge landscaping do up our yard with mulch and they did such a nice job. It's amazing what some cut up trees will do for your landscaping. So I went around all the trees in the front and back yard and planted seeds. Then the next nice weekend we hit up Lowe's and I bought pansy's and some other plants.
I also ordered over $300 worth of plants from Spring Hill Nurseries - a catalog that I recevied in the mail and that included some raspberry bushes, Crepe Myrtle trees, some flowers that they say love shade, some bushes and ornamental grasses. I've also added some other plants and bushes - too many to list.
But the weather like today's (rainy and crappy) is actually really good for my plants and it does make me happy that I don't have to water anything.
I will say that I am a bit upset about my rain barrel that I bought off Amazon. It won't fill up all the way unless you cut your gutter pipe to filter into the barrel and Jason was NOT having that. So we filled it with hose water and somehow it's supposed to create enough force for me to water like a real hose? I might be missing something but it's just not working that well and I am a bit disappointed.
But so far I have seen flowers coming off my plants but nothing is really popping up from the seeds yet but more to come.
I also started my vegetable garden and planted 4 rows of corn (might be too early for them yet), tomatoes, watermellon, lettuce and cucumbers. This is my first year with a REAL garden. Last year I gardened out of some brick planters in the backyard so I'm really excited to see how much I can get going.

Rob Dyrdek

I was just one of the many people who mourned the loss of Rob & Big - in case you don't know Big got some girl preggers and had to move out of the house with Rob. So there went the show - poo on Big.
But the execs at MTV weren't done pimping out Rob just quite yet. Nor was he done making even MORE money for doing very little. So they came up with the idea of the Fantasy Factory. The premise is this - Rob buys a huge warehouse and constructs an office complete with skating park inside and has all his friends and co-workers and cousins there to be around him and basically be his amusement while MTV films their day.
Rob did get another Bull Dog though and MY GOD they are the cutest puppies EVER. It really makes me want to get one! He named this one Beefy so he has Meaty and Beefy.
I didn't realize what a dick he was though - the people that work for him like his manager and lawyer are serious people who try to have serious conversations with him and he doesn't want to hear it and just goes and does what he wants. Last week he went to look at this shithole motel off the Strip in Vegas that was disgusting and without a second thought he decided to invest in it. Not a good idea AT ALL.
But Rob has more money than he knows what to do with...he is just looking for something to keep him semi-occupied and to spend his millions on. I do envy him and could only wish for 1 day in the life of.
But if you were a Rob & Big fan check out the show - they still skate and do stupid stuff - example: Rob gets a tennis ball gun that shoots balls at 55 MPH - that was good. He also was the producer and I think an actor in a skate movie that looked pretty cheesy but I haven't seen it so I can't say definitely but...well I guess I'll hold my opinion until I rent it because I'm surely not going to spend $8 or $10 or whatever a movie costs these days on it.

Will Ferrell!!!

Ok I've been trying to embed the code for the video clip of his George Bush special but have been unsuccessful - as I suck at HTML coding and couldn't tell you what is wrong with the code on their website.
So go here

http://www.hbo.com/events/willferrell/video.html

It will be too funny - Will Ferrell playing George W interviewing himself as George W
The commercials alone are too good - Tenawesome - yep that's a word!!

Will Ferrell!!!

http://www.hbo.com/events/willferrell/video.html?maven_playerId=willferrell&maven_referralPlaylistId=0265e8254470d92dcb0d3fbb2ed37b5cf2de3f34&maven_referralObject=3644324

I gots mine

So I did get my return within the time frame that the IRS promised. Watch out!
And I did pay off a few of my credit cards which further pissed off more people I am sure.

But after all the good spending came some more and we remodeled our bathroom ourselves (mostly Jason) with my financial backing and our bathroom looks fabulous. We got a new vanity with sink and a new matching mirror (all in a lovely Espresso color) and new vinyl flooring. I was intent on getting tile until I saw how much it would be to retile our little bathroom and said no way! Then I happened upon the marvelous invention of vinyl stick tile - BRILLIANT! Yes, it does lack the quality of tile but whatever it's a bathroom.

The lawn has received some nice care with a good coating of lime and Step 1 fertilizer - I did a bit of shopping and we had a nice dinner. So all in all - thanks America for the taxes!!

Where's Your Refund?

I found this great sheet that tells you exactly when you will receive your return - that is if you don't have any "red flags" AKA got the IRS' attention...
It is a PDF document at:

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p2043.pdf

Enjoy! And I'll let you know if mine comes when they say - according to the sheet I should have mine by Friday. I did even check Where's My Refund on the IRS website and it said they are reviewing it and if there aren't any problems I should expect it by March 6. But I know that's a longer estimate just in case...

Happy Shopping America - now go stimulate that economy! I'll be paying off some credit cards.
Responsibility = no fun

Thursday Morning Funny

Cat Alerts Iowa Family to Fire Started by Goal

WARREN COUNTY, Iowa --

Firefighters believe a goat kick started a fire that destroyed a home in Warren County on Tuesday.
Three people were asleep when smoke began filling Jim and Kristi Giles' home in Warren County, between Norwalk and Indianola.
"My cat woke me up and I saw smoke coming out of my fan," said John Hadley. "My first concern was getting my mom out of the house. Because, like I said, my mom is real ill. And so that's what I did. I made sure I got her out and then I know she loves her animals, so I rounded all her animals up, and by that point, flames and smoke were everywhere."
The fire continued to rage and had nearly eaten the entire roof by the time firefighters made it to the home.
Three departments tried to fight the fire in temperatures below zero.
"It's hard on the men and it's hard on the equipment," said Kevin Dingman, Assistant Northern Warren County Fire Chief.
Firefighters had to use tanker trucks to haul in water from several miles away. They said their fight to save the house was a lost battle almost as soon as they arrived.
"Once it's fully involved like this, then it's not worth sending your fellow firefighters in for something like this. I mean the house was fully involved, and it's too dangerous to send anybody in," said Dingman.
Firefighters think the fire may have been started by one of two goats. The family kept the goats inside a shed that was attached to the rear of the house.
"They put a space heater in there for the goats to stay warm. The goats knocked it over, causing a fire," said Dingman.
The goats were rescued, and so was a family dog.
The cat that warned the family of the fire is still missing, but is believed to be safe. No one was hurt in the fire.
"The animals and the people were the most important thing," John Hadley said.
The fire department called in the Red Cross to help the family, which doesn't have insurance. A relative told KCCI-TV that a fund has been established through any Bank of the West branch to help Jim and Kristi Giles.

Hamster?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnCnRuoYMxE

I know it's not funny because of the story but hey it's a hamster people!!

Putin IS a Dancing Queen

Thanks to Sissy for providing this earth-shattering newsbreak:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/02062009/news/worldnews/putins_45k_abba_obsession_153870.htm

TOO FUNNY! And I believe it - I don't care WHAT his reps say.

Dirty Jobs

Jason and I are GIANT fans of the show Dirty Jobs on Discovery. If you haven't heard of it - what rock are you living under and if you haven't watched you're missing out. So since Jason's job is filthy dirty and every night he comes home covered in paint, chemicals, glue, you name it - I decided to write in on the Dirty Jobs website that Mike and his crew should go to Jason's work. So hopefully they'll get through the other 20,000 suggestions and pick Jason's shop to go to. I would definitely miss a day of work to go watch Jason and Mike Rowe work together!!

Books I'm reading

Yes you read correctly - I am currently reading 2 books. Well, technically 3 since I just can't seem to commit to Fast Food Nation. After reading the very graphic chapter on how they "kill" the cows and string them up by their feet while they're still technically alive was just disturbing on so many levels.
But on a happier note - I am reading Cold Moutain which was part of the basket that was given to Jason and I when we checked into our hotel for Christine's wedding, thanks Christine! I started reading it and was hooked! I think I tried to watch the movie a few months ago and thought it was too slow but the book is fantastic. I can't wait for the 2 main characters to get together, which you know is inevitable when you have a story that focuses on a female character one chapter, then the next is on the male character.
But while I was in New Jersey visiting mom and dad I brought the book with me and I forgot it so I had to pick another book to read before bed. So I went to the bookshelf and found The Last Tycoon by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Turns out that this was his last book and he passed away before finishing the story. It was completed by Edmund Wilson and is a story about Hollywood and is said to be one of his best novels. One of my favorite books of all time is the Great Gatsby so I will let you all know once I've finished it. It's not a very long book but definitely interesting. I might finish it before Cold Mountain since it is a LOT shorter than Cold Moutain.

Bank name is WHAT?

Friday funny provided by Nicole

https://www.atholsb.com/

Heee heeeee

25 Things About Me

It came through on Facebook and I love to talk about myself so I am posting this here too:

1. My middle name, Ellen is my deceased sisters' first name
2. It bothers me extremely to leave things unresolved
3. I hate being accused of things I didn't do
4. I actually really like The Jonas Brothers
5. I want to be the person my nieces can look up to
5. I love a really good pen
6. I am extremely good at growing orchids and currently 2 of my 3 plants are in full bloom
7. I love my dogs, especially Pugsley more than a human should love a pet
8. The reason being that I lost my first puppy, Piglet in a terrible car accident, he was thrown from the car and was never seen since and it still hurts today and it happened 3 Thanksgivings ago.
9. I am obsessively clean
10. I love sitting around talking about music with my dad, he can always teach me something new
11. I have a day planner and order a new one every year - I just can't stop writing things down
12. I am on a bridal diet and hate every moment of it
13. I am a notorious night-snacker and love nachos with a passion
14. I watch the new 90210 (another dirty secret)
15. I like to make new people at work feel welcome
16. Every day I fall a little bit more in love with Jason
17. I try on my wedding dress a few times a month just to wear it
18. My oldest sister, Merry AKA Sissy is one of my best friends
19. I hate liars
20. I am really good at gardening and am known for my tomatoes
21. I hate night clubs
22. I feel a special bond with anyone who is from Jersey no matter where I meet them
23. I have a crush on Chuck Bass AKA Ed Westwick
24. I love to cook and try new recipies
25. I miss my other 2 sisters too much and wish we would talk

And a few that I didn't mention that I will now:
My first car was a powder blue Dodge Dynasty
I won the Jelly Bean Counting Contest in Middle School and was in the paper
I was on the entire front page of the Middlesex Paper for having open heart surgery and damn I was a cute baby
Oh yeah I had open-heart surgery when I was 2 and now have a giant scar down my chest
I can win any scar contest
I am not so scared of turning into my mother and hope one day to have half as many answers as she does
And I'm a little scared to have kids

I guess being a skank does pay off

So I know the name Anna-Nicole might run through your mind when you think of gold-digging skank but...I went to college with this girl, Megan and the last time I "saw" her was a very questionable picture on her myspace page.
I really don't talk to many people from college anymore - but my friend Jess told me that this girl is now on The Bachelor?! She looks really different, I'm guessing that they gave her a total makeover and I had to email her the link of this girl to verify that it actually is her.
Too funny though, normal people go to college, get a job and get married.
People like Megan go to college, take skanky pictures to post on myspace then sell themselves on TV for a chessy-ass show that no one watches anymore in hopes of finding TRUE LOVE? Good luck, honey.

Funny things on Ebay

I bought some ink cartridges for our printer (not fun I know but necessary) and saw under items they thought might be interesting to me:

Learn How I Work In My Pajamas - CD ROM with this picture -

Eli Stone was a heroin addict?

No but he played one!
I recently came across my Trainspotting Soundtrack and realized that none other than Sick Boy was really Johnny Lee Miller AKA Eli Stone.
I had to take a closer look and even had to go to his imdb page to prove it to Jason. I could have SWORN that he was tall in the movie but anyone who has seen Eli Stone knows that he is a little guy. Yes, a little guy that was once married to Angelina Jolie - wow back the day much?
So yes here is Sick Boy - see the resemblance? I am just beside myself this guy really has had quite a life and it only goes to show you look can be deceiving.
P.S. I suggest you start watching Eli Stone it's a really good show!

Gilt!

In my mind it sounds like guilt which is a pretty good explanation of this website

It is designer sample sales and this week I've already gotten 2 emails and the 1 today featured costume jewelry and being that I am in the market for wedding jewels I figured it was good research to start looking here.

I didn't find anything yet for the wedding but I did find the CUTEST necklace -

So I HAD to have it. And I will!

There is also a great blog with some featured designers and recently they were at Sundance.
The blog to follow is:
http://www.gilt.com/blog