The Post Office is sending me a sandwich!

Seriously Marketing never dies!
I received mail today from the one and only USPS at work asking me to fill out a form with bread, meat, cheese, toppings, condiments and a choice of potato chips or coleslaw and they promise to send me a sandwich! How will this happen? I don't know!! I of course filled out the form picking marble rye, roast beef, no condiments and mustard with potato chips. I CANNOT wait for them to send me a custom sandwich...curiousity has prevailed and I am dying!!
It even came with a website if anyone else wants to order one:
usps.com/mysandwich1

When was the last time you
A. got anything from the post office for free (except bills)?
B.got a sandwich in the mail?
c.were really curious about a sandwich?
d. got to say sandwich over and over again...as I have ALL day??

This week in hating Ratching Rachel Ray

Kid-friendly cooking 101

1. Giving parenting advice: "Parents don't limit what your kids eat by telling them what they'll like." (Because if anyone knows anything about raising kids...).
2. Her 'homemade' sauce was canned tomatoes with garlic and red pepper flakes.
3. Said to let kids help in the kitchen grating the cheese and veggies. (Nothing could go wrong there).
4. Made frozen chicken tenders covered with cheese. (Fighting the good fight against childhood obesity).
5. Called us kids, which will only confuse the lemmings. ('Is this meal for us or for our children?).
6. Mentioned (again) how adults always want what's on the kids' menu at a restaurant.
7. Made toasted pita chips, which the Semi-Ho made in her show today.
8. Covered vegetables with cheese.
9. Rolled up basil like a pro. (Something tells me she has done some rolling before).

The Monday that just WONT Die

Die Monday Die!!
The day started so lovely...we slept in till 7:40 awoke to a nice, calm house even with Thor visiting (pictured below)
So happy was I, I even wore a sun yellow sweater (not pictured)
well sun yellow has turned to Malaria/piss Yellow
I single-handedly ruined my Monday morning and everyone around me seems to be going down in the same burning boat filled with malaria and piss

Everything from hours off paychecks, to missing homework (sorry Sissy your computer is posessed too), to squeaky shoes my Monday death is contagious so I think for the benefit of all I need to GO HOME

I give up

Instead of working out after work as I originally planned I will be going home and keeping a bottle of wine company...IN MY BELLY



But these guys make me happy...drooling aside...

Say what? What a marketing slogan...

Work on Jay Leno!

We made Leno!!

Not for kids but hilarious "commercial" for Toyota!

Famous Corpses

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/7851

Napping with Napien

Caught Napping
by Sandy Wood & Kara Kovalchik
“Nap” originally meant any degree of sleep; the term wasn’t reserved for short periods of slumber like it is today. It’s based on the Middle English nappen , meaning “to doze.” But nap has several other meanings as well:
: : In the world of textiles, nap refers to the texture of fabric, leather, carpet, or similar materials. Vacuuming a rug helps to “raise its nap” when the beater brush and suction work together to straighten out the fibers, giving the rug a more full appearance and feel.
: : Chefs nap a cooked dish when they cover it with sauce or gravy. This comes from the French napper, meaning “cover” (similarly, nappe is Old French for “tablecloth”). So the next time you douse your French fries in ketchup, you can smugly say that you’ve napped them.
: : Those who like to play might enjoy nap , a card game related to bridge and whist. The version played in Britain is quite different than the one that’s become popular in Japan, but the names of both games are short for “Napoleon.” Was the Little Corporal himself a fan of the game? No, it wasn’t introduced until a few decades after his death.
: : The 20-franc gold piece once used in France was also called a nap in honor of Napoleon III, whose profile appeared on the coins from 1852 until 1870. Even when the design was changed on later mintings, the French still referred to the coin as the nap (much like we call a five-cent-piece a nickel, even though it contains no nickel).
: : Finally, there’s Nap Lajoie, a pro baseball player who was the first star of the fledgling American League. He won the first Triple Crown in AL history, leading the league in batting average, RBIs, and home runs. When he was traded to Cleveland in 1902, he not only served as player/coach, but the team adopted his name, becoming the Naps. It wasn’t until after he retired in 1914 that the team took its current name, the Indians.

Soap

It's amazing what Whole Foods carries...like $7 soap? But I HAD to buy it!

Summer pictures

In between working this morning I finally uploaded about 1,000 pictures from this summer so here are the best

Me and Masha - 4th of July

Masha & Pugs at Front Royal

Maddy & Kenzie at Luray Caverns

Kenzie & Pugsley

Maddy making Rice Krispy treats

Me and the girls at Luray Caverns

Canoeing on the Shenandoah

Me sitting in a 1923 Ford!!

And the Caddy all shiny!

How stupid are you?

According to Jennifer Lopez today:
"Marc and I just saw the film 'Children of Men.' The message of the movie was if we don't have children, there's no hope for the future ... maybe that's what the pregnancy rumors are about ... Maybe it's not that deep. Maybe it's more about seeing two people together and wanting to know if it's real. A lot of the time, having a baby solidifies that."

So that was the message of the movie? Not having more children means that the future of the human race will be in peril? Oh yeah the 2 of them not procreating would ULTIMATELY mean that we are all DOOMED. Please for the love of god J Lo start having Skeletor's babies - SAVE MANKIND!!!

Citizen?

I took this test this morning and did surprisingly well considering I HATED high school history (partly to blame was Ms. Moran - no wonder she was never married that woman was the Mistress of Satan)...

http://content.gannettonline.com/gns/citizenship/citizenship_trivia.html

I guess I can keep my citizenship unless Hilary gets elected then I am moving to France like Johnny Depp and renouncing my status...I'm sure I can sell my name to some illegal for some sweet cold cashish.

Culprit of the Day complete with poo presents...

Yesterday was a busy day for being bad in our house

Pugsley decided that he didn't like my brown sandals anymore and went into my gym bag and dragged both shoes out and chewed them to death.

And overnight he decided he was STILL mad at me for eating my shoes (rationalization anyone??!!) and took a nice big poop in the middle of the kitchen floor. Usually it is Jason that wakes up to such lovely, thoughtful poo presents but alas I had to wake up first today and that was one of the first things my eyes focused in on...yum poo in the morning.

What a great way to start a day I had to wake up at 6:30 to attend a work Town Hall Meeting.

Minuses for the day: poo presents, lack of coffee at meeting, I had to watch all our members enjoy their hearty breakfasts of fruits and BACON, waking up WAY too early(6:30), tight pants on my fatt butt, and rain...almost like a Monday but not since its Tuesday.

Stinky house on the corner

I started walking our dogs around the neighborhood and along with being completely nosy and looking at every part of our neighbors' yards and even taking long glances at their recycling bins (curiousity gets the best of me) I have noticed one house in particular.

The house on the corner of W. Mt Ida and Sycamore...

I have only seen one occupant of this house and she remarked how cute Pugsley was so I feel kinda bad for this but ah what the hell...

HER HOUSE STINKS, this is THE stinky house. It just smells like an old house full of old people. I don't know how to place the smell exactly - a bit of nursing home/mildew/mothballs/old people smell...

But for some reason I always think of that Tom Hanks movie, The Burbs and imagine all the neighborhood cats being buried in their basement or something similarily chilling...isn't that awesome??!!

Culprit of the Day

Last seen with an early morning delighful snack of steak bone fetched off the grill at 8 am. Partly to blame in this scheme is Jason for leaving said bone on the grill all night - its like they planned it.

Does this face look guilty?

Ding dong the Highlander's DEAD

Well not DEAD really

I finally sold my Highlander and it will be GONE today

I really did love my car but dammit I have never felt like less of a competent driver than when I was attempting to parallel park this beast of a car.

I mean for god-sakes I passsed my NJ drivers' test the FIRST time (which included parallel parking, might I add) and this is not an easy task as 2 of my 3 sisters can attest to...

I also made a new friend at work by "lightly" scraping her new car with my car. It was after that sweaty afternoon in the parking garage that I decided the White Beast MUST go.

So now I drive my newly redesigned Scion XB which is comparable to a sneaker but quite easy to park...so woo hoo for the new sneaker car the Scion and here's hopes that I don't make any new "accident friends" at work.

Here she is in the snow...oooohhh pretty. Too bad it barely snows here but oh well it looks nice!

Monday morning and no Outlook

Work had a fire alarm at 7 am with the end result not being a fire but instead no one can get into their Outlook. What is the point of being at work and no email? There isn't. I am ready to go home...sigh.

We painted our living room

For anyone that has been to our house you know that it is very plain white...I took a bold chance the other day and Jason and I painted our living room a very pretty blue.
Jason added his touch by painting the vent on the ceiling blue and leaving one part white...very funky.

More FREE Stuff

Today I got a nice gift certificate from Safeway for buying Half and Half that continually spoils on me. What's the big deal you ask?
Picture this:

8:00 am - the dogs are circling like blood-hungry sharks at my feet
I stumble around them to the coffee pot that is full of fresh-brewed Dunkin' Donuts crack (I mean coffee)
Pour my coffee into my mug
Add 3 spoons of sugar...yum
That was the sweet now for the light
Reach into the fridge that already has that weird stench back (where does it keep coming from?!) and pour freshly bought half and half into steaming coffee
WHAT THE F?? Why are there chunks floating in my coffee?? DAMMIT
Turn to the pot to realize that we only make enough for 2 to-go cups and it is now 8:15 and I have to chase Pugsley around the house in attempt to get to work on time. Fat chance.

So now my day is ruined...I go next door to Whole Foods in search of coffee to find they only have one size of cups for their in-store coffee and they are entirely too small to quench my crack thirst.

See there...half and half bought at Safeway = ruined day

So I will be going next shopping trip and speaking to Steve the Ass. Manager and get my gift card dammit!

Rachel Ray SUCKS

So as I am happy to report I am not the only one that hates Rachel Ray. It started when her stupid ass small books sold out in Olsson's around Christmas time. Nothing but annoying yuppies who do nothing but order take-put suddenly decided they could now handle cooking if it was dealt to them through a sprial-bound 1/2 page size book.

My good friend Kate, who lives in Boone, NC and has literally NOTHING to consume her time quite like sending email forwards passed along quite frankly the BEST site I have ever found...rachel_ray_sux.

One little gem I found today:
TOP TEN Reasons To Like Rachael Ray
From "David Butterman:"

#10. If you work for Diamond Crystal Salt, your stock will go up.
#9. Her cookbooks make excellent paperweights.
#8. She hasn't gotten into the lowrider pants craze.
#7. Got the Teletubbie set designer more work.
#6. Was turned down for "A Cook's Tour."
#5. Made "Aunt Mabel Chicken Stock" the next hot product.
#4. Keeps Furi executives in Bill Blass and polo ponies.
#3. Is not involved with Justin Timberlake.
#2. Ensures you test the mute button occasionally.
And the #1 reason to like Rachael Ray: Her fan forums gather more nuts than a hundred squirrels.

I guess I am part of those nutty squirrels...but proud to be so.

Her stupid commercials have made loyal Dunkin Donut-ers go Starbucks....noooo!

My First Blog

So in the spirit of technology I decided it was time for my very own blog



This has been the week of hating Apple

Selfishly Steve Jobs decided that my 4GB iPhone is too small and has already discontinued it. Ridiculous. So my option and idea for this blog was to get free stuff. I have a large growing list of things I have gotten for no reason other than being my mother's child and knowing that a large amount of complaining will get you WHATEVER you want. Ha Ha.



So the solution to my problem? It came in the form of technology -









One for me (I picked red since somehow the devil's company AKA Apple does help fight AIDS and other "nasty diseases" as the Apple rep told me)
and one for Jason to destroy I am sure.