Friday Funny

Poor Granny...but this is too funny not to post...only in the South

Poor DMV officials. They have a hard time of it, between re-taking digital I.D. photos until little newly-licensed Kayla or Callie gets her bangs just right and, well, they have to spend all day in the DMV.

We can't blame them for being a little behind on the Web-SMS shorthand lingo, but this? Really? A cute 60-year-old Grandma from Fayetteville, NC happily drove to and from her teaching job with the kickin' set of WTF license plates that had been issued to her by the DMV. Last July, she figured out what the somehow not -- thanks to some help from her teenage grandchildren. When the kids informed her of the true implications of the letters on her license plate, the woman was so vexed that she complained to DMV officials.

Gran's plates were replaced gratis, and the North Carolina DMV has offered to exchange any WTF or other questionable plates free of charge. Embarrassingly, it took DMV officials almost a year to realize that the sample plate on their site is also, ironically, of the WTF variety. Apparently some NC Webmaster has an, er, awesome sense of humor. They are currently trying to take the picture down. [Source: WXII12]

Maroon 5

Yum...reminder that I took these with my iPhone and didn't bring my camera...stupid girl. But I will be getting pictures from my co-workers!

Chi Town

I spent the last few days in Chicago and I loved it. I was in Evanston, IL a few years ago visiting my dear friend, Josh while he was at Northwestern. We didn't spend any time in Chicago since we were too busy packing him up to drive halfway cross the country. But this time we saw where the Cubbies play, the great skyline, the fountain that is in the beginning credits of Married...with Children (dammit now I have that song in my head...Love and marriage, love and marriage, its an institute you can't disparage...). We had traditional Chicago pizza, if you haven't had it Chicago pizza is about 2-inches thick and sooo filling! It starts with dough, sauce, cheese, more dough and more sauce on top!

We went to a crazy German bar right down the street from Wrigley and somehow I never knew that the Cubs have their own song! Everyone in the bar knew all the words and they sing it as loudly as they can whenever the Cubs win a game. And they won all weekend - against the White Sox too just to add injury to insult.

Monday night we all went to a concert in Lincoln Park Zoo and saw Maroon 5. We pushed our way up to the front row and FREAKED out every time Adam Levine got near us. I am positive he was looking at me the whole time (not really but I can dream, can't I?)

Biking...it hurts!

I haven't been on a bike in years and when I say years I mean over 10 years. Yes, I have a cruiser at the beach house that I've been on once and that was a bit wobbly but it was for about 1/2 mile. Sunday we (meaning Jason) decided to go on the trail by the Parkway for what turned into a 10-mile bike ride. This was some intense riding too - it wasn't just flat and straight it was hilly and twisty and for a second a little dangerous.
I was riding along - a bit slow too might I add considering this was like I said my first bike ride in many years, getting used to being on a bike and even remembering what the gears meant and how they worked was a challenge.
Off we went and things were going ok acutally. We entered a part of the trail that was a bit woodsy and very steep. I was slowly going down a hill on my side of the trail (yes there are lines to separate left and right sides) and I saw out of the top of my vision 1 bike coming towards me in the opposite direction. So I stayed on my course then all of a sudden another bike came along also in my lane. Noticing that the biker wasn't stopping coming RIGHT at me I let out a soft scream and tried to get out of the way. Stupid girl went right into me then was stopped by a tree, she fell off her bike and tumbled not once but 2 times head over heels and promptly got up, brushed herself off and asked me if I was ok.
I couldn't believe it - was I ok? I was fine - she was the one doing somersaults down a hill off a bike. She quickly got back on her bike and they rode away, slightly embarassed I'm sure.
After that the only mentionable events were that I couldn't force myself to finish the trail to end up at George Washington's house - what did he ever do for me anyways? :)
So I convinced Jason to turn around and away we went finishing our 10-mile ride. The next day my legs didn't hurt just my ass from sitting on a boy's seat on a girls bike. Boys seats are too narrow and my ass is too wide for any level of comfort. So hopefully next time I will get a better seat and the trip won't be so painful.
I'm thinking after my 5-day trip to Chicago and all the food I'm going to be eating I'm going to need another 10 miles. Whew.

Love and Labels

Last week I went to see Sex and the City - the movie and was thoroughly entertained. It did lean a bit on the long side but it elicited an emotional reaction from me and that is the sign of a good movie.
I was a bit grossed out - not by Charlotte's "poo in the pants" experience but by Miranda's bikini line. I don't know if this is common for all women but good god I hope not - I have NEVER experienced something like that and it was disgusting!
But the clothes were good (I think only 1 or 2 of Carrie's outfits I grimaced at) the shoes were great and I admired both enviously. I was a bit confused by Carrie's cellphone and the fact that it was covered in duct tape. I tried googling it and only came up with people such as myself commenting on it. I guess it's to point out that Carrie isn't very tech savvy and had the same cell that she had from the show.
It was sad at the end to know that this was probably the last time I will see a new plot line from the SAC dynasty and will have to settle for syndication.

In the spirit of the Olympics and wine

SLOW AND STEADY WITH A BREAK FOR WINE

While planning the first modern games in Athens in 1896, French historian Michel Breal wanted an event that linked the competition back to its ancient roots. He suggested a footrace that was the distance from Athens to Marathon. Not surprisingly, the Greek people were captivated by the notion of a race with such strong ties to their country's history, and they become obsessed with dominating the event.While other nations barely prepared for the competition, the marathon-crazed nation held two qualifying trials to choose its entrants. Except for the Greek runners, only one other contestant had run a full marathon before the Olympic Games. On the day of the race, the lack of proper training quickly took its toll, and by the halfway point, runners started dropping like flies. After nearly three hours, fans at the finish line learned that a Greek, Spiridon Louis, had taken the lead after a slow start and a break for a glass of wine. Greece's Prince George and Crown Prince Constantine got so excited that they joined Louis for his last surge to the finish line. Louis, a peasant farmer, quickly became a national hero, and his name even entered the Greek vernacular. The term egine Louis, which translates as "become Louis," is still used to mean "run quickly."

Polar Bears

Progress on Polar Bears from http://www.wecansolveit.org/

The US Department of the Interior today (few days ago) granted Endangered Species Act protection to the polar bear in light of shrinking Arctic ice due to climate change. The Alliance for Climate Protection's We Campaign recently submitted a petition signed by 136,000 Americans to Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne urging him to list the polar bear.
In response to the decision, Cathy Zoi, CEO of the Alliance for Climate Protection, issued the following statement:
"Today's decision by Secretary Kempthorne is a step in the right direction. The scientific community believes the polar bear needs protection, and so do the American people, who have been calling for this action in large numbers. While this step is encouraging, solving the climate crisis will require bold leadership that truly acknowledges the urgency of the problem."

I was one of the people who signed this petition and amazingly there STILL are people who say global warming is a "myth". To all those people I say - go hug a Polar Bear or steal their baby.

You're a tool if you get these tools

My brother-in-law is a floor layer (2 words, 1 word??) and he was working at Hermes the other day. All of us were very upset for him not bringing us anything - I would love a fetching scarf or something similar to accent my new shoes but sigh...

So as Sissy and I were checking the website for the validity of said $550 beach towels and lo and behold dumb-ass people actually do spend their money on shit like that. So I was searching and found a section labeled "Surprise!" And what a surprise it was! This lovely gardening set is $330 - so you can dig in the dirt with $330 HOE. Nice right?

Celebrate the Unity of Your Eyebrows

http://monobrow.com/

Finally uni-browers of the World a site JUST FOR YOU to celebrate your unity!

Thanks, Sissy for yet another blog worthy site!

Stupidest Email of the Day

I am always surprised how much time people put into stupid emails and fake forwards - things along those lines but sometimes an email strikes you with such hatred its almost impossible to process. Are you really kidding me with this crap? You learn this shit in Kindergarten - bathe regularly, go to the bathroom a lot, dress right for the weather??!! Is this for people living in complete oblivion but yet still have an email account? If so this is for you...

WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH!


1.) Brush twice a day!
2.) Dress right for the weather.
3.) Visit the dentist regularly.
4.) Get plenty of rest.
5.) Make sure your hair is dry before going outside.
6.) Eat right.
7.) Get outside in the sun every once in a while.
8.) Always wear a seatbelt.
9.) Control your drinking of alcoholic beverages.
10.) Smile! It will make you feel better.
11.) Don't over indulge yourself.
12.) Bathe regularly.
13.) Read to exercise the brain.
14.) Surround yourself with friends.
15.) Stay away from too much caffeine.
16.) Use the bathroom regularly.
17.) Get plenty of exercise.
18.) Have your eyes checked regularly.
19.) Eat plenty of vegetables.
20.) Believe that people will like you for who you are.
21.) Forgive and forget.
22.) Take plenty of vacations.
23.) Celebrate all special occasions.
24.) Pick up a hobby.
25.) Love your neighbor as yourself.

Do all these things and you will be a happier, healthier person!

Another affirmation of why I kick ass

Since my work is needlessly wasteful I took it upon myself to do this presentation in front of the entire (or most of the 300 people) company with a colleague that I guilted into helping me. It actually went swimmingly and I am ultra proud of myself.

Chucky T's

I bought a spanky new pair of brown Chuck Taylors over the weekend and am very happy with my purchase. I did get something on the laces within 2 hours of wearing them but alas is my messy life.
When I was in the store I had a really hard time grasping their sizing since its UK Men's sizes on all the boxes and I ended up with a size 4 shoe. I tried them on without any socks on since I was in flip flops and they fit perfectly. I totally forgot about the fact that I love comfy socks and within 2 weeks they will surely stink of foot and just be disgusting.
So I put on socks this morning and tied my shoes to find they are a bit too tight. Dammit.
I came to the sad conclusion that I must spend the summer in sockless shoes. And for some reason they seem to not like the office. My feet don't hurt at all when I'm outside walking to my car but once I step foot (hahahha foot, shoe, get it?) inside my toes start squishing and my heels hurt. If I can't break shoes in at work - where else am I supposed to do it?
Rats.

P.S. The Chucky T's remind me of high school and Guinta's nasty ass pair that I begged her to get rid of for months and months. I think she finally did when they ceased to exist as shoes anymore and had turned into puddles of rubber.

Funny Forward of the Day

Courtesy of Chuck the Chuckster...

Too funny since my office definitely has a few Tinklers...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/06/o.tinkler/index.html

Oh hell yeah this is blogworthy

Thank you, Sissy for always sending me stuff like this:
http://www.bulapictures.com/index.php?l=show&id=101

Hilarious tips on parenting - some I didn't know (just kidding!!)

Day 3 - the last day

We went to bed late so getting up this AM was a bit rough. Breakfast sucked - the eggs were crunchy and the bacon is only served on Monday's I guess. The hashbrowns weren't patties but instead curiously formed hash-sticks. Not a big fan. So I had a muffin - ick.
I chose to go back to bed for "a nap". I woke up at 12 finally - oops. I guess I won't be visiting the Longwood Gardens while I am here - which I was really looking forward to.
So I went off in search for substance. I turned out of the hotel and there 1 block away was Friendly's. Now I know it is nothing compared to what I had last night but I haven't eaten at a Friendly's in about 10 years - not kidding. I spent many an hour folding silverware and generally B.S.'ing with any of my friends who were employed there in high school.
So I ate in a little booth with my good friend, Kurt Vonnegut and had lunch and then topped it off with another item that reminds me of my adolescence - watermelon sherbet. Wow. I had forgotten how much I love that stuff. Seriously, it is still very easy to make me happy.
So now I am slowing waking up, I reheated my DD coffee and am in the process of packing up this room which is a glorified mess. There is stuff EVERYWHERE - mostly my fault but whatever.
Hopefully the ride home won't be half as bad as the ride up here. If it is I'm going to dip into Jason's birthday present from Sissy (a case of Coronitas) and make myself a little bit of happy!

Day 2 - continued...

Dinner was a Cosimo and it was unbelievable. I had the Japanese Wagyu Rib Eye and Jason had his 5th or 6th filet in 2 weeks. But we both agreed this was by far one of the best steaks we have had in years. The chef Stephen Delaney is amazing and all the details in the appetizers and main courses were so intricate I really felt as if I was in DC or NY but Malvern, PA? No way!
This place is truly a diamond in the rough. I chose the 14 Hands Merlot and that was great too. I have way too many good things to say about Cosimo. Lastly, the dessert. OMG - you choose 1 dessert heading and are served with 3 mini desserts in the category. I of course chose the chocolate one and Jason got the "ID required" dessert. Both spectacular. It might be the only reason to return here.

MMMMM......
And that ended Day 2.

Day 2 - Damn I forgot the bamboo

My parents were visiting last weekend and wanted some of the bamboo that grows in our backyard. We all had a few beers so typically we forgot about it until they were already back in NJ. Now since bamboo doesn't mail quite well I had Jason dig some up and figured I would bring it with me and give it to Sissy to give to mom next time she sees her. I should have known this was NOT lucky bamboo when it broke the shovel that Jason was trying to dig it up with - first sign. Then while it was in the car we hit all the aforementioned traffic - I should have thrown it out the car. 3rd sign - I totally forgot to give it to Sissy and drove with it in the back of my car from here to her house and BACK without remembering. I was back at the hotel for about 20 minutes until I remembered. DAMMIT.
Also, I might mention this might be traffic inspiring bamboo, I was hoofing it along 276 to 76 to 202 until all I saw was break lights. Never a good sign at 6:30 PM. Mind you it had been POURING the entire way after I left the central Philly area and was just then letting up a bit. So I crawled along occasionally popping into the shoulder to see if I could be "that guy" and pass everyone on the right shoulder while pretending that I was planning on exiting.
As I am crawling I pass this sign:















Funny sense of humor huh? "Watch for stopped vehicles". This is another reason I love having a camera phone - sometimes its the little things that make you point and shoot.

I finally returned to the hotel and vowed to not get on 202 again only if my life depended on it. That road is as moody as a pregnant woman (you know who you are).

Whooping it up in Malvern

Jason had paint school this week in lovely, historical Malvern, PA. I had never heard of this town before and agreed to come with him for this excursion. The trip started horribly - traffic all over 95 and I couldn't talk him into taking one of my many detour ideas. I HATE sitting in traffic and even when I'm alone I grab a map or my phone and start looking for alternate routes but sadly I was forced to inch along...pointless traffic.
But once we got to the hotel things were ok we checked in and started to settle in to our 2-room suite for the week. I had read on Jason's paperwork that he was going to be assigned a roommate which he told me that no I was his roommate instead...
We showered, ordered some food and were settling down for a nice evening with a movie when someone was trying to break in our room! Since I was in my PJ's I wasn't moving - Jason told the potential perp that they had the wrong room. The guy responded no he was here for paint school and was our roommate. What?!
So Jason opens the door and in walks this dude with (I'm not kidding) a Mohawk and tattoos all over his arms and face and neck and ewww...
So long story short we kicked him out to his own room - sorry guy, nothing personal but I don't do the Mohawk-type roommate thing - and also who the F gets a roommate after they graduate college?

Day 1 - Met Sissy for day of shopping and took a nice break and had lunch at my fave PA restaurant Chickie & Pete's! I haven't been in soo long and it was just as delicious as I remember it to be. We had of course crab fries, littleneck steamers, crab cakes and hot shrimp. Top it off with a draft beer and I was in HEAVEN. Yum.

And I took some pictures of this incredible lunching experience.

People are strange

So you may be asking what is this picture of? I was getting on the elevator the other day in the parking garage and found this curious concoction of someone's trail mix sitting forgotten in the corner of the elevator. I had to capture this moment less I forget the frailty of trail mix.

Funnies I have collected...

Sadly I have been busy at work (what?!) and finally found time to Blog whilst on "vacation" in Malvern, PA. So I am uploading and making myself laugh...

Found at Home Depot:




















Jig-a-Loo? Jigga What? Jigga Who? No Jig-a-loo!