Further justification of why I am Master of the Universe

One of the reasons I started this blog was explaining my skills with getting free things...

(This might be a little shorter than I intended considering I just wrote this long story and blogger experienced "an error" and deleted my posting!! GRRR!!!)

So ok - Jason decided he wanted an iPhone or he would DIE so he switched from Nextel to AT&T thinking he didn't have a contract. Well that wasn't the case. I called and was assured by a mystery woman that we would not incur any charges mainly an early termination fee (read: cell phone companies can be as bad as vengeful ex's they will do anything to make you regret EVER leaving) case in point $200. So she tells me a final bill will be sent to us within 1 week. Miraculously one month goes by - no bill - then BAM we receive a bill for $550!!
After I regain consciousness I get on the phone. Oh the fun that ensued!
I was told that I didn't ever call in and the conversation I had I must have imagined because there are no circumstances anyone could have promised me such a thing and that there wasn't a record of me even calling. Wonderful. Then the snake woman told me she would not want to be nice and helpful and that she could NOT (would not really) reverse any fees. Most of the bill was stupid fees. I told her that she sucked which is very calm for me.

So I persist. I called back yesterday and spoke to a moronic woman who after I completely demeaned her by insulting her intelligence without saying right out what I meant got me back. She transferred me to a Spanish-only line which promptly disconnected me after I failed to verify anything in Espanol. So I am in the process of calling back when Jason tells me to just give up that its not worth it he'll pay it off. Oh no.

I finally get the NICEST and GAYEST man on the phone. He starts off by telling me that Snake Woman lied that what the purpose of Customer Care is to do exactly what I asked her to do - reverse fees. Then he tells me that he would rather have his cell phone plan be with AT&T but is basically forced into having Sprint. I could tell already I hit the jackpot. After 20 minutes and lots of humming (him not me) he took the $200 fee off. Wonderful. Then he says "let me try a few more things" he went back over 4 months erasing every fee he could find. At the end of the conversation he tells me that the bill is now down to $40. Damn. As I am ready to pay him he says "let me take one more look" then "ok now your account is negative $27".
I say "wait now YOU guys OWE US money?" He says yes. So $550 went down to them owing us money. I am not expecting a check in the mail or anything but hot damn. I feel finally like I got to stick it to "the man" and it feels GOOOODDDDDD.

And this explains further why I am Master of the Universe.