Oh hell yeah this is blogworthy

Thank you, Sissy for always sending me stuff like this:
http://www.bulapictures.com/index.php?l=show&id=101

Hilarious tips on parenting - some I didn't know (just kidding!!)

Day 3 - the last day

We went to bed late so getting up this AM was a bit rough. Breakfast sucked - the eggs were crunchy and the bacon is only served on Monday's I guess. The hashbrowns weren't patties but instead curiously formed hash-sticks. Not a big fan. So I had a muffin - ick.
I chose to go back to bed for "a nap". I woke up at 12 finally - oops. I guess I won't be visiting the Longwood Gardens while I am here - which I was really looking forward to.
So I went off in search for substance. I turned out of the hotel and there 1 block away was Friendly's. Now I know it is nothing compared to what I had last night but I haven't eaten at a Friendly's in about 10 years - not kidding. I spent many an hour folding silverware and generally B.S.'ing with any of my friends who were employed there in high school.
So I ate in a little booth with my good friend, Kurt Vonnegut and had lunch and then topped it off with another item that reminds me of my adolescence - watermelon sherbet. Wow. I had forgotten how much I love that stuff. Seriously, it is still very easy to make me happy.
So now I am slowing waking up, I reheated my DD coffee and am in the process of packing up this room which is a glorified mess. There is stuff EVERYWHERE - mostly my fault but whatever.
Hopefully the ride home won't be half as bad as the ride up here. If it is I'm going to dip into Jason's birthday present from Sissy (a case of Coronitas) and make myself a little bit of happy!

Day 2 - continued...

Dinner was a Cosimo and it was unbelievable. I had the Japanese Wagyu Rib Eye and Jason had his 5th or 6th filet in 2 weeks. But we both agreed this was by far one of the best steaks we have had in years. The chef Stephen Delaney is amazing and all the details in the appetizers and main courses were so intricate I really felt as if I was in DC or NY but Malvern, PA? No way!
This place is truly a diamond in the rough. I chose the 14 Hands Merlot and that was great too. I have way too many good things to say about Cosimo. Lastly, the dessert. OMG - you choose 1 dessert heading and are served with 3 mini desserts in the category. I of course chose the chocolate one and Jason got the "ID required" dessert. Both spectacular. It might be the only reason to return here.

MMMMM......
And that ended Day 2.

Day 2 - Damn I forgot the bamboo

My parents were visiting last weekend and wanted some of the bamboo that grows in our backyard. We all had a few beers so typically we forgot about it until they were already back in NJ. Now since bamboo doesn't mail quite well I had Jason dig some up and figured I would bring it with me and give it to Sissy to give to mom next time she sees her. I should have known this was NOT lucky bamboo when it broke the shovel that Jason was trying to dig it up with - first sign. Then while it was in the car we hit all the aforementioned traffic - I should have thrown it out the car. 3rd sign - I totally forgot to give it to Sissy and drove with it in the back of my car from here to her house and BACK without remembering. I was back at the hotel for about 20 minutes until I remembered. DAMMIT.
Also, I might mention this might be traffic inspiring bamboo, I was hoofing it along 276 to 76 to 202 until all I saw was break lights. Never a good sign at 6:30 PM. Mind you it had been POURING the entire way after I left the central Philly area and was just then letting up a bit. So I crawled along occasionally popping into the shoulder to see if I could be "that guy" and pass everyone on the right shoulder while pretending that I was planning on exiting.
As I am crawling I pass this sign:















Funny sense of humor huh? "Watch for stopped vehicles". This is another reason I love having a camera phone - sometimes its the little things that make you point and shoot.

I finally returned to the hotel and vowed to not get on 202 again only if my life depended on it. That road is as moody as a pregnant woman (you know who you are).

Whooping it up in Malvern

Jason had paint school this week in lovely, historical Malvern, PA. I had never heard of this town before and agreed to come with him for this excursion. The trip started horribly - traffic all over 95 and I couldn't talk him into taking one of my many detour ideas. I HATE sitting in traffic and even when I'm alone I grab a map or my phone and start looking for alternate routes but sadly I was forced to inch along...pointless traffic.
But once we got to the hotel things were ok we checked in and started to settle in to our 2-room suite for the week. I had read on Jason's paperwork that he was going to be assigned a roommate which he told me that no I was his roommate instead...
We showered, ordered some food and were settling down for a nice evening with a movie when someone was trying to break in our room! Since I was in my PJ's I wasn't moving - Jason told the potential perp that they had the wrong room. The guy responded no he was here for paint school and was our roommate. What?!
So Jason opens the door and in walks this dude with (I'm not kidding) a Mohawk and tattoos all over his arms and face and neck and ewww...
So long story short we kicked him out to his own room - sorry guy, nothing personal but I don't do the Mohawk-type roommate thing - and also who the F gets a roommate after they graduate college?

Day 1 - Met Sissy for day of shopping and took a nice break and had lunch at my fave PA restaurant Chickie & Pete's! I haven't been in soo long and it was just as delicious as I remember it to be. We had of course crab fries, littleneck steamers, crab cakes and hot shrimp. Top it off with a draft beer and I was in HEAVEN. Yum.

And I took some pictures of this incredible lunching experience.

People are strange

So you may be asking what is this picture of? I was getting on the elevator the other day in the parking garage and found this curious concoction of someone's trail mix sitting forgotten in the corner of the elevator. I had to capture this moment less I forget the frailty of trail mix.

Funnies I have collected...

Sadly I have been busy at work (what?!) and finally found time to Blog whilst on "vacation" in Malvern, PA. So I am uploading and making myself laugh...

Found at Home Depot:




















Jig-a-Loo? Jigga What? Jigga Who? No Jig-a-loo!

Funniest cards EVER

Courtesy of my esteemed colleague, Jessica Fancy-Pants Kia

The entire collection can be found at http://www.someecards.com/ and you can even buy printed cards. Nothing says Christmas better than a card that says the truth:Let's talk about volunteering at a homeless shelter but not actually do it

Found on Ebay

BATWING BLOUSE WOVEN ART PAINTING WearableArt ChainMail

US $600.00

If you need to see it to believe it here it is:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=934710233&ih=020&category=63868&_trksid=p4012.m53&_trkparms=algo%3DRCI%26its%3DI%252BC%26itu%3DUCC%252BMH%26otn%3D2%26po%3DOp1%26ps%3D20

This is quite possibly the UGLIEST thing ever. Since its "wearable art" they feel they have the right to charge $600 for this item?

Ridiculous.

Ick.

Another reason to hate Rachael Ray

Pet friendly recipe??

Pet Friendly - Cheesy Zucchini Frittata
1 baking potato, peeled and thinly sliced
2 tablespoons milk
3 eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO)
1 small zucchini, chopped
1/2 cup shredded asiago cheese

First off, why the F would I be cooking a Cheesy Frittata for my pet? And also it says pet friendly but I really don't think my 2 pet geckos would enjoy this cheesy miracle. And the fact that it has zucchini - another retching ingredient one that I am sure my dogs WOULD NOT eat. This is why I hate her and she is the most annoying, stupid person EVER.

The Sack Cometh

As the seasons change and the weather grows warmer us at the office here were a bit afraid that the Sack would be a seasonal thing. The last 2 weeks of betting I thought had proven that in fact the sack was seasonal all until last Friday. I was walking in actually thinking of a way I could bring up the Sack to the Potato - how could I ask her if she would wear it again? But lo and behold, God does answer prayers. The Sack was on full display once again. This really does prove that even Punxsutawney Phil can't predict everything.

Too bad we didn't bet last week on the Sack Sighting but I think I will have to place a bet for this Friday. Good news is all around!

Colbert and the Smithsonian

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile now...

My love for Stephen Colbert grows with each show and finally the snotty world of the Smithsonian has found their own love...

Stephen Colbert, born 1964

Born Washington, D.C.

Stephen Colbert, the mock pundit for the Comedy Central show The Colbert Report recently contacted the National Portrait Gallery hoping to donate this portrait of himself from his show. While this triple portrait is not one that would typically be accessioned into the Portrait Gallery’s permanent collection, NPG agreed to go along with the joke and hang the portrait for a limited time. In episodes of The Colbert Report that aired on January 10, 14, and 15, 2008, Colbert tries to convince the Smithsonian that he should be considered a national treasure. He attempts to donate his portrait to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History, but the museum’s director suggests that perhaps Colbert should speak to the National Portrait Gallery. Finally, after much "discussion," the director of the National Portrait Gallery finds an appropriate place to hang Colbert’s portrait, in between the bathrooms and above the water fountain.

AC Slater Strikes Again

I'm really not keeping up with his career I promise you. But since this is the second posting I have reported on his career I thought I needed to point out that he jsut keeps popping up when I am watching TV.
So anyways....

Slater is now moving from his gig on Animal Planet (or he still has it but)...his agent must be in high-gear because he is going to be in a new show, Husband for Hire.
Here is the short description I found

A Latina woman must find a suitable Latino man or risk losing her inheritance. In desperation she hires a man from a group of immigrant laborers, but he turns out to be Caucasian. She must turn him into a convincing suitor while fending off her sister's machinations, her father's suspicions, and the man's girlfriend. Amidst it all, they start falling for each other.

And Mario is cast as Marco...wow what a stretch of the imagination for him.

And this is what they said about Mario for anyone who didn't watch Saved by the Bell
"the handsome curly-haired actor found himself in another bind, having to overcome the lack of credibility surrounding his long-running stint on the very popular kids sitcom "Saved By the Bell" (NBC). "

Once again justification why I am Master

I won the NCAA Tourney at work! Not only did I forsee all the #1 teams making it to the Final Four I picked Kansas to win! And in overtime they did in fact beat Memphis. Now I can't say that it was me in all my basketball wisdom that ultimately picked the winning teams, I did enlist the help of my father who knows just a bit more about NCAA b-ball. Note: he actually watches the games! I managed to win without watching a single game! Go ME!
So I collected my whopping $15 - too bad there were only 4 of us in the pool this time. Figures since I won that there wouldn't be a nice big cash out. Oh well as my dad said it's better than a sharp stick in the eye.

More in hating Rachael Ray

My friend, Kate sent me this article about how Ratching Ray needs to be stopped before she is made into a video game. The HORROR!

http://www.gamertell.com/gaming/comment/rachael-ray-must-be-stopped-before-she-makes-a-videogame/

This week in hating Ratching Rachael Ray

First a Rachael Ray drinking game...earlier hatred of said "personality" is a prerequsite

Rachael Ray has such an abrasive personality, any of her many shows on the Food Network can make a great drinking game. Here are some rules to use when you're up for getting sloshed in 30 Minutes or less.
Note: 1 "sip" generally means a reasonable-sized sip of whatever beverage you have in hand, taking into account its alcohol content.
Sayings:
1 sip "EVOO"
1 sip "Guys"
1 sip "Sammie"
1 sip "Healthful"
1 sip "Goin' on" new!
1 sip "Hang out" new!
2 sips "Stoup"
2 sips "GB"
2 sips "Spoonula"
3 sips "Fry-o-lator"
+1 sip
any of the above followed by an explanation of what it stands for, thus making the abbreviation useless

+1 sip any of the above nouns used as a verb (e.g. "I'm just gonna GB this")
1 sip "Yummo"
2 sips any exotic variant of Yummo, like "Yummilicious" or "Yummerific"
1 sip "Delish!"
1 sip "Awesome"
1 sip "Beautiful!"
2 sip "Chop and drop" new!
2 sips "Shimmy shake"
2 sips "Worcester-sheer-shire sauce" new!
1 sip "I gotta take a quick break" new!
1 sip "It smells good in here already!" new!
1 sip "How _____ is that?"
1 sip "I'm all about _____"
1 sips "Just run your knife through it" new!
1 sips "Room to groove" new!
1 sips "You can seriously entertain with this!"
2 sips ... if she's talking about hamburgers.
2 sips "Some of that action"
2 sips "Back in the day"
2 sips "Daddy"
1 sips "Give it feet"
whole drink - creates an all-new and completely unnecessary abbreviation

Stories: new!
2 sips - The one about how she has 5 jars of poultry seasoning new!
2 sips - The one about how she eats so much garlic she "smells like a salami" new!
2 sips - The one about how she ate panzanella every day in Italy new!
2 sips - Any story about Boo new!

Presentation:
1 sip - repeats herself
2 sips - talks for so long without taking a breath that she nearly runs out of air
2 sips - makes an awkward, spastic gesture with her arm
2 sips - voice cracks
2 sips - forces a laugh at something not funny
2 sips - tells a lame anecdote about her family
2 sips - mispronounces "foreign" words such as "paprika" or "tapas"
2 sips - says something that is flat-out wrong
3 sips - is visibly flustered

Cooking:
2 sips - comes back from refrigerator carrying too many ingredients
3 sips - drops something on her way back
4 sips - drops something, laughs, and says something like "potato overboard!"
whole drink - the thing she drops is a knife!
1 sip - fails to provide a measurement and tells you to "eyeball it"
2 sips - provides an obviously wrong measurement, e.g. "about a tablespoon" while she dumps in a half-cup of something
2 sips - suggests a crappy substitution (e.g. parsley for cilantro) new!
2 sips - praises "salad in a sack" new!
2 sips - uses a "secret ingredient"
3 sips - the "secret ingredient" is nutmeg
1 sip - mentions "the thing that makes you go Hmmm"
3 sips - "the thing that makes you go Hmmm" is nutmeg
2 sips - praises the virtues of Worcestershire sauce new!
+1 sip - if she says it contains "secret ingredients", despite the fact that all ingredients are clearly listed on the label new!
2 sips - creates a "healthful" meal that clearly contains over 50g of fat
2 sips - does way more work than is humanly possible during a commercial break
3 sips - makes a "gourmet" dish out of cheap ingredients (e.g. Tiramisu with nilla wafers and whipped cream)
2 sips - expresses how good something tastes while she's still lifting the fork to her mouth
2 sips - takes such a big mouthful of something it takes several seconds before she can talk again
3 sips - ruins something and tries to play it off as no big deal
3 sips - makes a dish with a name more than 10 words long new!

Travelling:
2 sips - leaves a crappy tip
2 sips - shoves her nose in something to smell it
2 sips - claims a dessert by itself is somehow a legitimate lunch or dinner
2 sips - gets something for free (e.g., her boyfriend buys her a sundae) new!
3 sips - wears anything midriff-revealing
whole drink - gets up on stage with a band new!

Headless Deer

Solid cement heavy, 16" tall x 2ft wide.

This is a REAL posting on Craigslist - good GOD people will sell anything.

I wonder how it would look in my front yard - maybe it would scare off the neighborhood kids. Excellent....

Guilty Pleasures

Ok so I know I watch a lot of crap TV that I wouldn't say makes me any better or more informed of a person but sometimes you really need mindless entertainment. This year I started watching American Idol in the beginning just for the auditions as I have in years past. It's so embarassing to watch people make such asses out of themselves either because they really DO think they're great or as I suspect as a bet. Some of those people really can't think they're good and are there for entertainment purposes only.

So I ended up getting into this season (and actually its US not just me). Now that it's down to 8 contestants I can tell you all their names! So there is this girl...the most redneck waste of a girl ever, first off she has NEVER heard the Beatles. I'm sorry but what size Cow Pie did you have to be buried under to have never heard the Beatles??!!

Her name is Kristy Lee Cook and she lives in buttcrack, USA and her family has horses. She did sell her horse to get the $ to go to AI. I don't feel for her even for that. She stands like she is always riding that horse. She can't close her legs ewww.

And she is quite possibly the CRAPPIEST excuse for a girl and even crappier singer. She has been in the bottom 3 for probably 6 weeks now and somehow doesn't get kicked off!! GRRR.

And last night it happened again! She was there - as usual in the bottom 3 and didn't go out. I wish we could UNVOTE for people. I know that her little hick town gets everyone together and votes as many times as they can to keep her through. She actually sang "God Bless the USA". REALLY???!!!! Last time I heard that song people were actually HAPPY we were in Iraq.

Oh and it gets BETTER I googled her name and this came up:

Favorite Quote: "Rope it, ride it, wrestle it, cowgirl it."

This is her stupid head. I couldn't find an image of her singing looking like she's riding an imaginary horse.

Sleep through the Static

The new album from Jack Johnson came out last month and I recently downloaded it (well actually I came across it from someone who "downloaded" it). I will say it is great. I really enjoyed the title track and the rest of the album is reminescent of the "Jack Johnson" surfer-sound. I don't think its quite as cheesy as Brushfire Fairytales. I recommend it so -GO BUY IT! This is his 5th album and more impressive is that he either penned or co-wrote all of the songs. In this age of manufactured "bands" finding a singer-songwriter is an oddity.

Artists that deserve being called so need to be supported. And he's a really really hot guy so that should be yet another resounding reason.

Soap on a Rope makes a come back

And not too soon might I add!

I was at the dentist yesterday and whilst trying to distract myself from enivtable pain I picked up some "mens fashion" magazine which I really wish I knew what it was now.

But anyhoo, it turns out that Soap on a Rope is making a comeback in the mens grooming world. Particularly fashion designers are cashing in on this. First culprit: Polo

Straight from the Macy's Website:

POLO Ralph Lauren Blue Soap on a Rope, 3.5 oz.
$16.00
Lightly scented with Polo Ralph Lauren Blue, this rich-foaming deodorizing bar cleans away dirt and oil. Provitamin B5 and Vitamin E Acetate- known for their conditioning and antioxidant properties.


More to come as I continue on my quest for overpriced Soap on the Rope.

Thursday -

I found more...

Tommy Bahama 'Set Sail South Seas' Soap on a Rope
A refreshing aromatic citrus balanced with hints of rum, watery nuances and soft woods.

For the light price of $16.50 - pictured above for the whole affect.

Prison Speak

A discussion prompted us to wonder where did these slang prison terms come from?

The Clink
Wikipedia

The Clink was a notorious prison in Southwark, England which functioned from the 12th century until 1780 either deriving its name from, or bestowing it on, the local manor, the Clink Liberty (see also the Liberty of the Clink). The manor and prison were owned by the Bishop of Winchester and situated next to his residence at Winchester Palace.
It was originally used for the detention of heretics (both Protestants and Catholics, as religious favours changed). At one point the Clink was reserved for priests who took the Oath of Allegiance, but came to be used for people who broke the peace on Bankside or in Southwark's numerous brothels. The prison probably fell into disuse after the English Civil War, though it was described in 1761 as being "a very dismal hole where debtors are sometimes confined, but little used". The Clink was burned down during the Gordon Riots of 1780 and never rebuilt.
The name of the Clink is the origin of the phrase "in the clink" (meaning "in prison"). The origins of the name are uncertain, but it may have been an example of onomatopoeia, referring to the sound made either by the prison's metal doors as they closed, or the chains the prisoners wore. The Clink Prison Museum is currently located on the original site in Clink Street, in the basement of a former warehouse. The Clink Prison was the first prison in which women were regularly confined.

The Pokey
pokey (n.)
"jail," 1919, perhaps altered from pogie "poorhouse" (1891), of unknown origin.
pokey (adj.)
1849, "confined, shabby," later (1856) "slow, dull;" from poke (v.).

EWWWW POKE